Ha. That's a quote from my friend Travis this week, and I think he hit the nail on the head.
Another week down, which leaves us only FOUR MORE WEEKS of the police academy!!! I can almost taste graduation day...
Speaking of tasting graduation day, they are actually going to serve a donut buffet. Seriously.
Our illustrious guest speaker this week was an incredibly arrogant and fairly portly fellow from the FBI who came to teach us about Constitutional Law - a subject we SHOULD have been taught in the first month, because it's very important stuff. All about protecting the public from the likes of police like us (otherwise known as Redcoats), and good info we need to keep our butts out of a sling by not violating someone's civil rights. Of course, it went in one ear and right out the other with most of the class.
So back to Mr. FBI. Apparently, on the FBI application, there must be a box you can check asking "Are you a pompous ass? If so, check this box." Every FBI agent so far to lecture us has been incredibly full of himself. This particular Mr. FBI referred to ALETA as "The Ivory Tower of Knowledge." THAT is just about made me fall out of my seat. I managed to stifle the involuntary incredulous snort before attracting attention. Ivory Tower of Knowledge...
Not much to comment about on Constitutional Law...the only thing good I can say is that it was excellent information, and that Mr. FBI actually taught rather than spoon feeding it to us at a 3rd grade level. However, he did yell and scream a lot...it was kind of like having an entire week with a "hell and brimstone" preacher. There were times when you just wanted to jump up and yell, "Tell it to us brotha!!! Amen!!! I got tha spirit now, hallelujah!!!" After a solid week of it, kind of leaves you on edge with a high stress level.
And speaking of stress, let's talk about Academy Cuisine. After a hard day of sitting in class, I love to relax and sit down to a hot meal of...
...whatever the hell this is. It's supposed to be "steak fingers"...I managed one bite before my mouth, throat, and stomach all gave a resounding, "NO WAY." And those other things are tater tots. I figure ALETA has stock somewhere in a tater tot factory, because we have them a lot. And for dessert, vanilla pudding COMPLETE with a cherry. Can you imagine the lunch ladies? "hmm...this vanilla pudding just looks so blah...what can we do to make students think they're getting a gourmet dessert? I know...let's put CHERRIES on it!!!"
Somewhere in ALETA there resides the Cherry Bandit who loves putting cherries on things. It doesn't stop with vanilla pudding...cherries are showing up everywhere. The next night:
Yes, that is now CHOCOLATE pudding with a cherry. But it keeps coming...
We've been able to grab a half a grapefruit pretty much every morning since we started ALETA. But now for some reason, in the 8th week, we're offered (drumroll)...grapfruit halves with CHERRIES!!! I feel so special...
Who knows what we might get next week...whipped creme? a whole grapefruit? I'm on the edge of my seat with anticipation...
That's about all the reacapping I can do of illustrious week 8. I'll keep trying to get pics of us in action in our sexy BDU pants. Have a great week!
