Another week down! And boy, was this one a doozie...
So we started off the lovely week with the subject of Death Investigation, complete with even more shocking pictures. These weren't quite as bad, though...and actually I found myself forgetting to be grossed out and more intrigued with the investigative process. Kendra, however, was glued to the instructor's every word. If there was ever anyone born to be a crime scene investigator, it's Kendra. But we did learn some pretty cool stuff, such as how to work a crime scene and how to take fingerprints, which we then put into practice in practical excercises.
Then, on to the activity everyone was dreading - the Pepper Spray practical.
From what I've gathered, the purpose of spraying officers with pepper spray is that 1) they know what it feels like, and 2) they know they can survive it and work through it to survive whatever situation they are in when they are sprayed. I'm glad they don't take the same stance with our actual guns.
So this is the scenario:
Officer stands in front of the instructor armed with a baton and gun loaded with 3 simunition rounds (like paintball, only more painful), and proceeds to inform the instructor they are under arrest. Our instructor was a sadistic man named Mr. Poole. Mr. Poole sprays the officer, and the officer then has to use the baton on assailant #1 wearing a big protective suit. Once Mr. Poole deems assailant#1 down, assailant#2 (also in a protective suit) comes running from the other side, and the officer has to draw and fire 3 rounds into assailant#2, all without dropping the baton or any other gear. THEN, after all that, the officer has to use the radio to call in for help. If any piece of gear is dropped, the officer has to find it and pick it up.
Sounds simple...they even told us that most people have a good 20 second window before the stuff starts working, which is plenty of time to perform the excercise. BALONEY.
It seems I'm not one of those lucky people:
Me: "You're under arrest! You're under arrest!"
Mr. Poole: "I don't believe you"
Me: "You're under (spray) aaalglihasssssssssssaahhhh!"
My left eye immediately clamps shut. I can still see assailant #1, so I go whack him. After the first whack, my right eye clamps shut and my throat also decides to constrict, and my mind screams "OH SHIT!!!" I cease to remember anything from this point, but we all got a DVD recording it all. I managed to whack assailant #1 two more times, then turned around and couldn't get my gun out of the holster. I must've heard assailant#2 running at me, because I ran backwards and managed to get the gun out and shoot, then managed to get the radio and call in successfully. But then the fun REALLY started...everything that was clamped shut just clamped shut harder, and I could feel things starting to really swell. I was led over to the decontamination tanks, where I literally thought life was ending. All I can compare the feeling to is to imagine taking fresh habenero peppers and squeezing the juice on your face, in your eyes, and in your mouth, and inhaling some just for fun. I have no idea of the time frame at this point, but it felt like HOURS before I could open my eyes under their own power rather than prying them open with my fingers.
Travis, who had gone a few people before me and was at the tanks with me, said, "you looked like a botox disaster with 5 gallons of snot on your face...the most pathetic human being I've ever seen...still alive, at least."
I think, if I ever get into a situation where I have to pepper spray anyone, I'll just shoot them. I think it would be more humane.
I'm going to try to get some pictures this week...I know these posts are kinda boring with just text, but it's nearly impossible to get pics of ourselves in "action" at the academy. I'll work on it, though!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My Mind's Eye is Scarred
Not much to say about this week...we started off with an FBI agent showing some VERY graphic photographs of sexually deviant crimes, followed up by the railroad police and their videos of cars and people getting hit by trains. Thanks for that, guys...my mind's eye is permanently scarred. We also did CPR and First Aid, which was pretty much half-assed.
Half-Assed pretty much sums up ALETA. An that's all I got to say 'bout that.
Half-Assed pretty much sums up ALETA. An that's all I got to say 'bout that.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Math-Jeebies
Week 5 is down, and one more week to go until we hit the halfway mark! Man that seems like forever.
So far, ALETA has been nothing like I expected. I think if everything we learned weren't put at a 3rd grade level, at least a month could be cut out of training. This experience hasn't really increased my confidence in cops. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good, smart, decent people down there, but roughly 1/4 of the class are a waste of space on earth. Makes things a bit tedious.
This week was Accident Investigation week, which I had a hard time getting in to. First, there was a fair bit of math involved, and I'm very sensitive to getting the Math-Jeebies. Second, I just couldn't see how AI is relavent to me as a Park Ranger. I've seen one accident in my career in parks, and it involved a girl driving an old Mustang on ice trying to make a curve but instead meeting with a park sign. It was in such slow motion that about 4 of us discussed the accident before it happened:
"Think she's gonna make that curve?"
"I dunno...kinda icy out there and you know Mustangs and ice..."
"She might make it...boy she's sure cranking on that steering wheel..."
"yeah....oops....not looking good..."
"Ooo! Yep, she got it."
"Guess we should go out there and see if there's any damage."
"No damage...she just bumped it"
"Hmm...well, guess we should go push her car out."
"Ok"
Definately nothing we needed charts, graphs, measuring tape, and a scientific calculator for. And if there ever IS a big wreck that needs an investigation, we just call up the Sheriff's Dept. and they bring an AI team - much more highly trained with the latest equipment and computer programs....or the State Troopers, who have the same. Sure won't need a park ranger with her piddly accident graph.
So, to say the least, it was a tedious week. The Math-Jeebies struck, but I was quickly able to beat them down when I figured out that I was a math genius compared to some of the morons in the class.
The only other thing we covered was pressure points in Defensive Tactics. I'm starting to hate that class. I can figure out how to hit someone without actually HAVING to hit someone, or BEING hit myself. I was lucky enough to be paired up with this older guy who looked like a lumberjack on steroids. I kick him, and he barely moves. He kicks me, and I'm extracting myself from an Ashlie-shaped indention in the concrete wall. I looked down the line and see Travis faring no better...I think there were about 4 Travis-shaped indentions in his section of concrete wall. Later, after inflicting more punishment on each other (I got Lewis *the Lumberjack* good with a shin-kick manuver), we came to the pinnacle of the classroom lecture - the dreaded Brachial strike. Basically, it's slapping the crap out of someone just below the ear on those nerves. I whacked Lewis the Lumberjack, and he of course didn't move, which meant the instructor wanted me to hit him harder. After a few more attempts and no reaction from Lewis (except for a bad "I just crapped myself" look), I was finally able to quit, but felt like a failure for not knocking him even out of his stance. Then we switched partners. Lewis whacked me, and I went down like a sack of potatoes made of lead, seeing blotches and stars and fighting for consciousness, thinking, "What the HELL???" Luckily that was the last manuver for the day, but we still had to take the test over AI. I don't know HOW I passed that test...I don't know my score yet, but they let us know if anyone flunked it by putting up SS#'s on the board after the test. I found myself leaned over my test, in a fog of pain, trying to comprehend the simplest questions. I didn't start feeling remotely better until a couple of hours later when we stopped to eat. Next thing to dread - pepper spray. It wasn't this week like I thought, but the week after next...just another thing to look forward to.
So next week - CPR and First Aid. Which should be boring as heck because I'm certified to teach it. At least the test shouldn't be a problem.*sigh*
So far, ALETA has been nothing like I expected. I think if everything we learned weren't put at a 3rd grade level, at least a month could be cut out of training. This experience hasn't really increased my confidence in cops. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good, smart, decent people down there, but roughly 1/4 of the class are a waste of space on earth. Makes things a bit tedious.
This week was Accident Investigation week, which I had a hard time getting in to. First, there was a fair bit of math involved, and I'm very sensitive to getting the Math-Jeebies. Second, I just couldn't see how AI is relavent to me as a Park Ranger. I've seen one accident in my career in parks, and it involved a girl driving an old Mustang on ice trying to make a curve but instead meeting with a park sign. It was in such slow motion that about 4 of us discussed the accident before it happened:
"Think she's gonna make that curve?"
"I dunno...kinda icy out there and you know Mustangs and ice..."
"She might make it...boy she's sure cranking on that steering wheel..."
"yeah....oops....not looking good..."
"Ooo! Yep, she got it."
"Guess we should go out there and see if there's any damage."
"No damage...she just bumped it"
"Hmm...well, guess we should go push her car out."
"Ok"
Definately nothing we needed charts, graphs, measuring tape, and a scientific calculator for. And if there ever IS a big wreck that needs an investigation, we just call up the Sheriff's Dept. and they bring an AI team - much more highly trained with the latest equipment and computer programs....or the State Troopers, who have the same. Sure won't need a park ranger with her piddly accident graph.
So, to say the least, it was a tedious week. The Math-Jeebies struck, but I was quickly able to beat them down when I figured out that I was a math genius compared to some of the morons in the class.
The only other thing we covered was pressure points in Defensive Tactics. I'm starting to hate that class. I can figure out how to hit someone without actually HAVING to hit someone, or BEING hit myself. I was lucky enough to be paired up with this older guy who looked like a lumberjack on steroids. I kick him, and he barely moves. He kicks me, and I'm extracting myself from an Ashlie-shaped indention in the concrete wall. I looked down the line and see Travis faring no better...I think there were about 4 Travis-shaped indentions in his section of concrete wall. Later, after inflicting more punishment on each other (I got Lewis *the Lumberjack* good with a shin-kick manuver), we came to the pinnacle of the classroom lecture - the dreaded Brachial strike. Basically, it's slapping the crap out of someone just below the ear on those nerves. I whacked Lewis the Lumberjack, and he of course didn't move, which meant the instructor wanted me to hit him harder. After a few more attempts and no reaction from Lewis (except for a bad "I just crapped myself" look), I was finally able to quit, but felt like a failure for not knocking him even out of his stance. Then we switched partners. Lewis whacked me, and I went down like a sack of potatoes made of lead, seeing blotches and stars and fighting for consciousness, thinking, "What the HELL???" Luckily that was the last manuver for the day, but we still had to take the test over AI. I don't know HOW I passed that test...I don't know my score yet, but they let us know if anyone flunked it by putting up SS#'s on the board after the test. I found myself leaned over my test, in a fog of pain, trying to comprehend the simplest questions. I didn't start feeling remotely better until a couple of hours later when we stopped to eat. Next thing to dread - pepper spray. It wasn't this week like I thought, but the week after next...just another thing to look forward to.
So next week - CPR and First Aid. Which should be boring as heck because I'm certified to teach it. At least the test shouldn't be a problem.*sigh*
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Handcuffin' Fun
Oh, quit with the dirty minds...
Week 4 is DOWN! I can't believe I've made it through a whole month of Aleta...only 2 more months to go. Ugh. I don't like reading that. I realize my blog has been pretty boring of late, but my life has been pretty one-dimensional, being stuck in Camden.
The academy, however is turning out to be what Marden has called "an interesting study in sociology." When you put over 80 people together in a stressful situation, interesting things happen. Manners have pretty much gone out the window...I've heard more bad language, burping, and farting than I care to in the rest of my life. Well, except farting...that's pretty funny. Every morning we do PT at 5:30, and the "morning poots" hit, especially durning situps. We're lined up by squad, laying on the floor in neat rows, and the instructor calls "UP!", and it promptly followed by a resounding "BLBLUUUUURRRRRRPPPP!!!" of the morning poots. Luckily I haven't joined in the chorus, but the way things are going (along with the food we've been subjected to), I may lose any leanings toward ladylike behavior that I've been holding on to...however, it doesn't keep me from laughing. Hey, at 5:30 a.m., you have to have something to laugh at.
This week we covered lots of unsavory info which I won't go into, which made the week even more stressful than usual. Tensions between students is running pretty high, which is probably to be expected with the "diverse" personalities, and the subject matter of the lectures probably didn't help matters. But by Thursday we were doing practicals and actually up and doing stuff. The best (and worst) part was more lessons on handcuffing. We started with a handcuffing relay between squads, which my squad won, and we supervised the losing squad in pushups. After that, we learned what to do to a suspect we've handcuffed, who decides to act squirrely once you get one cuff on. The response to a squirrely suspect with one cuff on is to keep hold of the thumb and the cuff, and yank the bad guy out of his/her boots to the ground. OUCH. This was fun as long as you weren't the bad guy, but unfortunately, we had to take turns. Kendra and I were partners for this excercise...Kendra told me "if someone is going to kick my ass, I want it to be you." We both got our respective asses kicked. I think I had Kendra airborn a few times, and she gave me rugburn on my chin. Check out the results on our wrists!:
This is mine on the top (no, not broke, just swollen and slightly misshappen), and Kendra's wrist on the bottom.
I think most of the damage on my wrist was actually inflicted by the instructor, who used me as an example in a demonstration. I ate flooring on that one. After the first session of being slammed to the floor, we quickly found some athletic tape. The next session was not only throwing your partner to the ground, but sitting on top of them with their thumb and arm at an extremely uncomfortable angle and handcuffing the other wrist, then making them sit up, then stand. This resulted in a menagerie of ugly bruises to numerous bony prominences of the body.
Next week is Accident Investigation, and I THINK, if i remember right, that it's also the week we get sprayed with pepper spray. It's either this next week or the week after...in a way I am dreading it, and in another way I just want to get it over.
I'm outty for today...have a wonderful week!!!
Week 4 is DOWN! I can't believe I've made it through a whole month of Aleta...only 2 more months to go. Ugh. I don't like reading that. I realize my blog has been pretty boring of late, but my life has been pretty one-dimensional, being stuck in Camden.
The academy, however is turning out to be what Marden has called "an interesting study in sociology." When you put over 80 people together in a stressful situation, interesting things happen. Manners have pretty much gone out the window...I've heard more bad language, burping, and farting than I care to in the rest of my life. Well, except farting...that's pretty funny. Every morning we do PT at 5:30, and the "morning poots" hit, especially durning situps. We're lined up by squad, laying on the floor in neat rows, and the instructor calls "UP!", and it promptly followed by a resounding "BLBLUUUUURRRRRRPPPP!!!" of the morning poots. Luckily I haven't joined in the chorus, but the way things are going (along with the food we've been subjected to), I may lose any leanings toward ladylike behavior that I've been holding on to...however, it doesn't keep me from laughing. Hey, at 5:30 a.m., you have to have something to laugh at.
This week we covered lots of unsavory info which I won't go into, which made the week even more stressful than usual. Tensions between students is running pretty high, which is probably to be expected with the "diverse" personalities, and the subject matter of the lectures probably didn't help matters. But by Thursday we were doing practicals and actually up and doing stuff. The best (and worst) part was more lessons on handcuffing. We started with a handcuffing relay between squads, which my squad won, and we supervised the losing squad in pushups. After that, we learned what to do to a suspect we've handcuffed, who decides to act squirrely once you get one cuff on. The response to a squirrely suspect with one cuff on is to keep hold of the thumb and the cuff, and yank the bad guy out of his/her boots to the ground. OUCH. This was fun as long as you weren't the bad guy, but unfortunately, we had to take turns. Kendra and I were partners for this excercise...Kendra told me "if someone is going to kick my ass, I want it to be you." We both got our respective asses kicked. I think I had Kendra airborn a few times, and she gave me rugburn on my chin. Check out the results on our wrists!:
This is mine on the top (no, not broke, just swollen and slightly misshappen), and Kendra's wrist on the bottom.
I think most of the damage on my wrist was actually inflicted by the instructor, who used me as an example in a demonstration. I ate flooring on that one. After the first session of being slammed to the floor, we quickly found some athletic tape. The next session was not only throwing your partner to the ground, but sitting on top of them with their thumb and arm at an extremely uncomfortable angle and handcuffing the other wrist, then making them sit up, then stand. This resulted in a menagerie of ugly bruises to numerous bony prominences of the body.
Next week is Accident Investigation, and I THINK, if i remember right, that it's also the week we get sprayed with pepper spray. It's either this next week or the week after...in a way I am dreading it, and in another way I just want to get it over.
I'm outty for today...have a wonderful week!!!
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