PEPPER SPRAY IS THE DEVIL

Another week down! And boy, was this one a doozie...

So we started off the lovely week with the subject of Death Investigation, complete with even more shocking pictures. These weren't quite as bad, though...and actually I found myself forgetting to be grossed out and more intrigued with the investigative process. Kendra, however, was glued to the instructor's every word. If there was ever anyone born to be a crime scene investigator, it's Kendra. But we did learn some pretty cool stuff, such as how to work a crime scene and how to take fingerprints, which we then put into practice in practical excercises.

Then, on to the activity everyone was dreading - the Pepper Spray practical.

From what I've gathered, the purpose of spraying officers with pepper spray is that 1) they know what it feels like, and 2) they know they can survive it and work through it to survive whatever situation they are in when they are sprayed. I'm glad they don't take the same stance with our actual guns.

So this is the scenario:
Officer stands in front of the instructor armed with a baton and gun loaded with 3 simunition rounds (like paintball, only more painful), and proceeds to inform the instructor they are under arrest. Our instructor was a sadistic man named Mr. Poole. Mr. Poole sprays the officer, and the officer then has to use the baton on assailant #1 wearing a big protective suit. Once Mr. Poole deems assailant#1 down, assailant#2 (also in a protective suit) comes running from the other side, and the officer has to draw and fire 3 rounds into assailant#2, all without dropping the baton or any other gear. THEN, after all that, the officer has to use the radio to call in for help. If any piece of gear is dropped, the officer has to find it and pick it up.

Sounds simple...they even told us that most people have a good 20 second window before the stuff starts working, which is plenty of time to perform the excercise. BALONEY.

It seems I'm not one of those lucky people:

Me: "You're under arrest! You're under arrest!"
Mr. Poole: "I don't believe you"
Me: "You're under (spray) aaalglihasssssssssssaahhhh!"

My left eye immediately clamps shut. I can still see assailant #1, so I go whack him. After the first whack, my right eye clamps shut and my throat also decides to constrict, and my mind screams "OH SHIT!!!" I cease to remember anything from this point, but we all got a DVD recording it all. I managed to whack assailant #1 two more times, then turned around and couldn't get my gun out of the holster. I must've heard assailant#2 running at me, because I ran backwards and managed to get the gun out and shoot, then managed to get the radio and call in successfully. But then the fun REALLY started...everything that was clamped shut just clamped shut harder, and I could feel things starting to really swell. I was led over to the decontamination tanks, where I literally thought life was ending. All I can compare the feeling to is to imagine taking fresh habenero peppers and squeezing the juice on your face, in your eyes, and in your mouth, and inhaling some just for fun. I have no idea of the time frame at this point, but it felt like HOURS before I could open my eyes under their own power rather than prying them open with my fingers.

Travis, who had gone a few people before me and was at the tanks with me, said, "you looked like a botox disaster with 5 gallons of snot on your face...the most pathetic human being I've ever seen...still alive, at least."

I think, if I ever get into a situation where I have to pepper spray anyone, I'll just shoot them. I think it would be more humane.

I'm going to try to get some pictures this week...I know these posts are kinda boring with just text, but it's nearly impossible to get pics of ourselves in "action" at the academy. I'll work on it, though!