Turkey is just a bird my foot...I'm pretty sure wild turkeys are some minion of an alternate dimension, only seen by human eyes when you're in your car or on un-huntable property.
Sunday evening, while visiting at the in-laws (the hubby was on a field training excercise - some army thing that did NOT sound fun), I decided to try my luck on an evening turkey hunt - my first solo hunt. Now, I'm just a fledgling turkey hunter. And to make things even more frustrating, I was spoiled by bagging a nice buck on my very first deer hunt last year. However, this would add up to be my 3rd year of turkey hunting with no turkey. This time I was determined.
Dressed in camo head to toe and armed with my trusty shotgun, a myriad of calls, and even some decoys, I headed for the woods. Sneaking through the trees like a soldier stalking Charlie on the Ho Chi Min trail, I first used an owl locator call, just like the pros. Nothing. No problem...I knew where these guys roosted. So I found a nice spot close to the area with lots of feathers and scratch marks where there HAD been turkeys, and proceeded to let out some calls. Nothing. Nothing for a looong time. Of course, I'm not altogether convinced that my calls even sound like a turkey...rather, they sounded more like a duck with a speech impediment. It's getting dark...my butt is numb...I'm pretty sure there's a tick stuck to my ear... At least I thought I knew where they roosted...apparently they'd decided to check into the nearest Holiday Inn Express. No turkeys. I headed home.
Well...it's just an evening hunt...I'll get 'em early in the morning when they first get up! I got up before the butt-crack of dawn, and by the time the sun started to rise I was camped out under a big oak, decoys set, waiting for that gigantic gobbler to poke his head into my sights. (Never mind that in my eagerness to get into the woods I'd sounded like a drunk elephant crashing around...a big no-no) And I waited. Let out some calls. Waited some more. My butt again went numb. Pretty sure there is another tick in a not-so-scratchable place. Just when I thought about getting up and trying another tactic, I heard a soft, "yelp yelp yelp" of a hen. They DO exist!!! "Hmmm...well, similar to humans - where there's a girl, there's got to be an amorous boy not far behind", I reasoned. An hour later I decided maybe not. I'd started to hallucinate that the turkey flock was watching me, asking each other, "how long do you think she's going to sit there?" I finally relented.
At this point I've really decided that turkey hunting is no more than a waste of valuable sleeping time. I think I'm going to stick to trout and deer...critters that I DO know exist, and are catchable. (And make a tasty supper)
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