Unemployment...

So here I am...unemployed. It's been a couple of weeks now, and it's still kinda weird not having to get up and actually BE anywhere, and I keep thinking someone from the park is going to call with a problem I need to fix, or to tell me that I need to come to work. I guess that will wear off eventually. In the meantime, I've been working on the house, simultaneously trying to move in (our stuff is scattered between the house, a storage building, the garage, and the trailer), organize, set doors, install trim, do laundry, and fix supper. I don't even want to THINK about Christmas...it's sneaking up like a massive red and green monster. So much for taking some time off.

Since I don't have a whole lot to report this blog (that and I'm just plain tired), I thought I'd finally add some pics from mine and Marden's anniversary trip to the Smokey Mountains. Enjoy!

Here's Marden posing next to a battlefield cannon at Lookout Mountain, if you remember, the first stop on the Illustrious Anniversary Trip.

And me, high atop a monument (I forget which one - there were a LOT) on the Chickamauga battlefield.

Don't ever joke with Marden about fall leaves. As you can see, pretty colors are a subject he takes very seriously. This was the beginning of our near disasterous hike to Ramsey Falls, before the rain, before the blood, before the dark...

BIG tulip trees on the Ramsey Falls trail.

The Hermitage, home of Pres. Andrew Jackson. VERY worth the trip...probably the most awesome historic site I've ever visited.

Marden and I posing with the Dolly Parton statue on the square in Sevierville, TN. You know how many statues have a shiny nose due to people rubbing it for luck? Well, Dolly's statue had another "lucky spot", which Marden was sure to make the most of.

Mullet Mayhem

Holy Mullets! The drought has ended, and Mullethunt '07 is going out with a bang!
Thanks to the addition of a seasoned hunter to our team, we are now enjoying prime mullets from the high country. Hannah from Colorado has been working overtime with these top-of-the-line captures and shows she has the moxie to run with the big dogs of mullet hunting glory.

First is a doozie of a "helmet style" Femmullet, captured surprisingly out of what could be considered normal femmullet habitat at this popular eatery. Hannah makes a first capture from a distance, but later goes for the gold and is rewarded by this extremely nice close-up. Femmullets are known to be a bit on the aggressive side, but Hannah has no fear as she goes for it all on this shot.

Hannah shows her mullethunting experience here, as the "helmet style" can be a bit deceiving, especially if seen from the front, where they can apppear almost as a normal hairstyle. But seen from the back? It's ALL party...

Second, we have an extremely rare Asianmullet. Protected only by a thin sheet of glass and under the slight cover of a transparent blind, Hannah and Trent teamed up for this one-of-a-kind capture. Fortunately they were able to escape not only with their lives, but with a trophy mullet capture worthy of the recordbooks.

Next, we have a FINE Westernwear Mullet! I was present during this capture, but alas, my mind had escaped into the world of western fashion, and I was oblivious to such a fine mullet in my midst until it was brought to my attention. This brings to mind an important reminder to be EVER VIGILANT, no matter what the circumstances. Even when faced with some really cool boots that one might not really need. In addition, due to my distracted state, I was only able to make the distance catch. Fortunately, Hannah kept her wits about her and was able to make this up close caputure, wisely from the back as to not alert the mullet to her presence. While not the most flamboyant, this mullet is more subtle - showcased in fine western wear, closely clipped to seamlessly accomodate a cowboy hat. This is a more down-to-earth, laid back species which does not put on airs with fancy hair color. This mullet definately at home, home on the range.

Whoa - did someone lose a hair-band member??? Finally, we have one of our finest, if not THE finest, mullet capture to date. This has to be the creme de la creme. Or however you spell that. As you can see the magnificence of this mullet has dumbfounded my own senses. This ultra-flamboyant plummage was spotted at his place of employment, which is also a well-known mullet hot-spot - Walmart. Notice the pride this mullet displays. He is out there, and he is proud. And he is poofy. This is no wallflower mullet. Notice how he aggressively grabs the attention of surrounding Walmart patrons. The lady on the left is absolutely awestruck not by the fresh cuts of meat, but surely by the tall flowing amber waves before her. This mullet is showcased by some pretty "rad" duds, too...tight tee with rolled sleeves, military style pants, and the "cherry on top", if you will, - the knee-high leather boots. This mullet is rockin' like it's 1989.

Remember hunters, we STILL have plenty of open season left for Mullethunt '07! Wherever there is "Business in the front, party in the back", there should be a hunter not far behind!

She Returns

Greetings! Yes, I've been informed that my latest hiatus has gone on long enough, and I intend to remedy the situation in a big way. Most importantly.....updates for Mullethunt 2007!!!

I've spend the last three weeks on leave from official work to work on Hooter Manor. It's coming together slowly but surely...all but one room is now floored, and I've successfully installed 5 interior doors and put down some trim. Now I've got a few more days of work before OFFICIALLY being marked off the State Park books, and the big Final Move is this weekend.

After Sunday, I will permanently no longer be a resident of Northeast Arkansas. I will miss being close to many friends...and probably I will miss being so close to a substantial pet store, but I think that's about it. I will NOT miss the mosquitoes, the drab landscape, or most of all - Terry Wood. He's a radio dj and self-proclaimed local celebrity. I can't stand that guy, and he's EVERYWHERE. On the radio, and on TV on local commercials. Someone needs to inform him that he's not only less than funny...he's incredibly annoying. I long for the day when I don't turn on the radio to hear "ol' Terr" crack a joke about a current event, which is never funny, then end it with his trademark "heheheh, yuk, yuk, yuk."

Speaking of turkeys, I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving! Ours was great! We began with a trek north to Mo to see my clan. Trent was back from Iraq and brought his girlfriend Hannah, who is pretty darn awesome. Tye showed up sans girlfriend as she unfortunately had to work. It was great having everyone together, and is one of the best visits to home I can remember. We had the big family doin's on Thanksgiving, which was also very enjoyable, along with the food, which was beyond enjoyable. We headed out Friday evening to join up with Marden's family for their Thanksgiving on Saturday. I'm still stuffed with turkey, stuffing, turkey, sweet potatoes, turkey, pumpkin pie, and turkey.

And can you believe it???? Mizzou Tigers are ranked #1 after a great game against KU...the first time since 1960. :) Sorry Kansas friends...better luck next year. :)

We found a little time to do some deer hunting for the second round of deer hunting season, which started on Thanksgiving day. Marden and I both had pretty horrible luck during the first season. Both of us were handed nice bucks on a platter, but neither of us could deliver. I'm still suffering from being spoiled last year, when on my first day of my first season I bagged a nice 8-pt buck (which I still really think committed suicide), while Marden got an even nicer 8-pt the next day. Two first days of season, two nice deer - then we could just relax. THIS year we're feeling the deer hunting lumps. So far I've shot at and missed a 6-pt., then had another 6-pt stare me down from 20 feet away while my brain took a vacation. Marden had a nice deer stand broad side and pose, but he shot and missed, too. The rest of the season has been filled with sounds and glimpses of bucks, but none that bore any fruit. And the does. LOTS and LOTS of does, which are not legal to shoot unless you are in possession of the elusive Doe Tag, which we both applied for but did not recieve - which they seem to know...does are as thick as pea soup (Marden and I had a herd of 11 does stand in front of us at one point). I believe that these nefarious critters know exactly what they're doing. They enjoy seeing us dressing in a riduculous get-up, spilling stinky doe pee on our boots, and sitting in the freezing cold for hours on end wondering if we are still in possession of our butt cheeks or if they froze off. Those that actually get shot must be your random idiot deer. Regular deer season is nearly over, and it looks like we're out of luck for filling the freezer with yummy venison this year and will have to start buying ground beef again, unless Marden gets out his old bow. Archery season goes through February. As for me, I'm out of patience and am waiting for the next chance to go fishing. I can handle a surly trout much better than a taunting deer.

Ode To Hoss:

On a very sad note, during the weekend Mom and Dad's longtime indoor Himalayan cat, Hoss, had to be put to sleep. He was very old and his health had really declined during this fall. He made a slight rebound, but took a nose-dive the last few days. I remember bringing him home when I was still pretty new to driving, smuggling him into the house and hiding the little ball of fur in my room from Mom before we stuffed him in a box and gave him to her as a birthday present. Hoss had a great life, spending his days in the lap of luxury with a nice big house to roam. He enjoyed a big sunny bay window to lounge in, another window overlooking numerous bird feeders, a front porch on which to get some fresh air, and occasionally some leaves in which he dared poop like a wild kitty in the jungles of South America. He'd also worm his way into the recliner with Dad, and sometimes get caught on the couch where he was not supposed to be. I think his favorite was staying with Grandma, because she'd let him sleep on her bed. He will be greatly missed.

Some people choose not to have pets for this reason, but I still feel the joy that pets bring is well worth having to endure letting them go at the end of their short life spans.

So here I am, back to work for this week waiting for the weekend and my final day as a park ranger. I'm both excited and a little sad. I'm very glad I decided over 5 years ago to pursue this dream and was able to see it realized. I'm glad I'm not sitting in a dead-end job somewhere still wondering if I could ever be a park ranger, and I'll be leaving this job satisfied that I not only did it to the best of my ablitity, but I hopefully did some good along the way. And I can leave excited by tomorrow's potential...we'll see what's on the horizon. At the least, it should make for interesting blogging! Well...hopefully minus the idiots...

Stay tuned for the latest Mullethunt '07 update!!!

Mullethunt '07 Update

Yes friends, Mullethunt '07 presses on into the final stretch! Hunters seem to have hit a dry spell as of late. While visual sightings continue, camera capture has eluded even the best of hunters due to a number of circumstances. I have tried to find a reason for this phenomenon, however, have come up empty. The mullet drought has come to an end, though, with this recent capture by yours truly.

This is not one of my finer catches, as the photo is quite blurry. However, you will notice, there are TWO mullets in the single pic. A classic Male Mullet (blue arrow) and a Two-Toned Femmullet (pink arrow). Both are separated by a basic 80's trailer-trash haircut, also known as a "Honkey Tonk Hairdo."

This capture was made in the popular mullet habitat - Walmart. If your mullet hunting is yielding no results, I suggest places of business such as this for a higher mullet ratio.

Fall Has Fallen

Whew! As I look out the window at the cold drizzle on this miserable day, I have to laugh at my posts griping about the incredibly hot temps of this summer! I guess there is always something, though I won't gripe now - I really love fall, and this weather comes with the territory. The only thing I'd wish is that I was home in my comfy sweats. "Home" as in our new house, not in park housing.

I must apologize for the absolute boringness of my blog lately. I think my creativity has run it's course for the time being...I'm going to call the malady "Blog Blight."

Anyway, to work through the Blight, here's a pic of my bro in Iraq. Dang that's some heavy-duty firepower!

Please stay tuned...I promise the Blight will end.

Aaaad...I'm back

So you've probably been wondering if I fell off the face of the earth...I did, actually, but now I'm back.

Marden and I decided we desperately needed a break both from work and from the seemingly endless remodel of Hooter Manor, so we decided a few days in the Smokey Mountains would do the trick, with great timing being so close to our *drumroll*…FIRST wedding anniversary. Plus, it was cheap – one of those “come listen to our condo sales pitch” kinda deals.

And unfortunately, due to some technical difficulties, you'll have to get the scoop on our trip "sans pictures" for now, though I will do my best to add them very soon. There are some good ones.

So we left Sunday morning at a fairly leisurely pace, trekking across Tennessee, stopping here and there at interesting points and civil war battlefields. We got to Nashville and decided to take an impromptu detour down to Chattanooga, which was WELL worth the trip. We spent most of Monday at the Lookout Mountain and Chickamauga battlefields, which are incredibly interesting and well-preserved. Marden, as a military history instructor and major buff of history and military tactics, was in hog heaven, wearing an almost constant expression of contented bliss.

We ALMOST, against Mom’s strong advice, gave into temptation to See Rock City, but time was a-wastein’ and we had to point our little car onward to the east.

We arrived in Sevierville that evening, checked in at the welcome center and found our hotel, all while constantly voicing our disgust at finding that Sevierville and Pigeon Forge are essentially the same town, as they totally run together, and that it looks exactly like Branson. To make a Branson all you have to do is take a city block and put on it a Nascar themed go-cart track, a laser-tag arena, a Levi’s outlet, a discount western boot outlet, a pancake house, and a hillbilly-themed mini golf course. Then repeat. Repeat again. Repeat again. Stick in an outlet mall and sprinkle a few corny theaters – it’s an instant overweight, fanny pack wearing tourist’s paradise.

Now, I’ve been known to frequent a few outlet malls…but it just seemed so out of place and unnecessary here. And they were PACKED with tourists, which I don’t really understand…it would be like going to the Bahamas to go to Wal-Mart. I guess if that’s your thing, then ok. But you have around you all this nature, history, and culture, and people are spending their days at the outlet malls? It makes you understand why kids are growing up with no concept of the outdoors.

So anyway, done with that rant. Day #3 dawns and we head down to Gatlinburg, which we find equally touristy. It does seem to have a little more character, but still commercial, and traffic was bumper to bumper. We had a couple hours to kill before our “condo spiel” in Sevierville, so we found the Gatlinburg craft village. Totally touristy, totally PRICY. We headed back to Sevierville bracing for the high-pressure condo salesman, only to get to the “preview center” to find they had overbooked. A small ray of hope? Would they just give us our Bass Pro gift certificates and let us leave? Didn’t look that way, though Marden was VERY adamant that we would NOT reschedule, that we were here as promised, and that it wasn’t our fault they’d overbooked. After a short time, we were called back to the front to be presented with the unbelievable – our gift cards and a salesman free afternoon! We practically ran from the preview center, giggling like kids, Bass Pro giftcards firmly in hand.

Back to the National Park, where we planned to hike the afternoon away. Armed with a map, some water, extra sweatshirts, and a .45 (yes I know it’s against park regulations), we began the 4 mile trek to see a 90’ waterfall. About a half mile into the hike, we get poured on. Soaked but still in good spirits, we trekked on, seeing some beautiful scenery, including some incredibly huge old-growth trees. We were, however, getting pretty tired…was it just a year ago we’d hiked the “hard side” of Pike’s Peak? A year of slacking off the exercise sure makes a difference. Three hours later, though, we made it. Nice little waterfall, took some pics, then decided we’d better hoof it if we were going to make the 4 mile return trip before dark – Ms. Park Ranger and Mr. Army Captain (soon to be Major) did not pack a flashlight. In our haste, I took a tumble on the rain-slick rocks, bruising my butt and adding a deep gash to my elbow, which severely halted our dash down the mountain. Oh, and Park Ranger and Army Captain didn’t pack bandages, either. Not even a single band-aid. Marden is at this point planning on spending the night, already making plans to take the .45 rounds apart to make a fire. But I recovered quickly, and we resumed Smokies Dash ’07. This time we’re nearly at a run, racing dark to the car, with me feeling like a groundhog has been gnawing on my elbow. But, WE MADE IT…literally without a minute to spare.

Back at the hotel, I cleaned up while Marden practically bought out the nearby CVS Pharmacy. Bandages, antiseptic, athletic tape…and of course, a flashlight. Even some superglue. I had to threaten him several times with bodily harm and/or divorce if he kept trying to superglue my elbow. Yes, I know it can be done, but it didn’t sound like fun at the time…a band-aid active strip was doing wonderfully. Those things have saved me from the prospect of stitches several times. In addition to a damaged elbow, I’m also sporting a SPECTACULAR and very large black and purple bruise on my left posterior cheek…felt great to ride on that from eastern Tennessee to Arkansas.

Day #4 is fishing day. Marden had been acting like an ADD kid concerning going fly fishing in the Smokies, so that was our plan. Normally I’m game for fly fishing whenever/wherever, but the summer’s drought in Tennessee was incredibly hard on the fish and the streams, and I was afraid we were in for a tough day. Besides, my butt hurt. But fishing we went, after our obligatory stop at the local fly shop to spend $40 on flies I could’ve tied at home for free, and more money on souvenir t-shirts and fishing licenses. It did, however, turn out to be worth it. Fishing was terrible…Marden caught a trout that would have been considered bait here, and I caught some kind of minnow. Yes, a minnow. But, during all our fishing angst, I SAW A BEAR! Yes, a genuine bear. I know, they’re not uncommon in Arkansas and are thick as rabbits in the Smokies. However, I’ve gone looking for them numerous times in places where they practically come out in droves and have STILL never spotted one. I’m practically the only person in Arkansas who hasn’t seen a bear - and being a park ranger, I have suffered some severe bear envy. So imagine my surprise when I spot one right across the small stream from Marden, who was totally absorbed in his fly selection. My thoughts at the time were something like this:
“Hey…there’s a big black dog over there…wonder what he’s doing? Where’s his owner?...Wait….THAT’S not a DOG…HOLY CRAP THAT’S A BEAR!!!”

By that time Yogi has spotted me and raced away up the hill, and I unfroze myself to run to Marden and see if he’d seen it. Nope…he was all about his fly selection and hadn’t seen the bear…and seemed more concerned that the bear “could’ve eaten him” and here I was dumbstruck.

Eh, just as long as the $40 worth of flies was safe…

So day #5, time to go home. We got up at 5 am to make it up to Clingman’s Dome for the sunrise, which we timed perfectly. With all the haze and fog in the valleys, it was pretty incredible. Then, on to Arkansas. We made a few stops on the way, including an impromptu stop at The Hermitage, home of Pres. Andrew Jackson. The impromptu stop turned into about 4 hours, which was pretty awesome. I’ve been to a lot of historical sites, but this one has to take the cake! Usually when visiting a historical site, I’m disappointed by the lack of authentic items and by how many things are reproduced. Many times, even whole structures are reproduced based on photographs or records. The Hermitage is totally different, as the whole home is preserved! Very few things are reproductions, and all items in the home were actual belongings of Jackson and his family. Even the wallpaper was original! Granted, some had to be reproduced, but most of it in the upstairs portion was original and in excellent condition. Needless to say, I was really really impressed….and after our tour, really really ready to get home.

The little vacation was great to recover from work and remodeling…now, can I take a vacation to recover from my vacation? Just a few more weeks...

Yakov and other disturbing things...

Ok, so I spoke too soon, as usual. Fall only lasted a few days, and Summer has made a reappearance. Ugh. At least it’s only slightly uncomfortably toasty, not the blistering melt-your-tongue-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth oven-like heat of July and August.

Yes, I’ve been absent once again, but I have a good excuse. Mr. Hooter and I made a much-needed trip to Missouri this weekend to attend the “Big Doin’s that was a transpirin’” (words of my brother Trent) for my Grandma’s 90th b-day. A great time was had by all, especially me, who hadn’t seen much of my family since I became a Mrs. I also got to hold my new month-old cousin Cole for the first time, which was awesome as long as he didn’t cry. I do hope the crying-baby phobia goes away when I have my own…as of now when I hold a baby and it cries, I’m like a quarterback handing off to a running back in the backfield. And I got to eat cake and homemade ice cream…that in itself always constitutes a good day.

Seeing the rest of the fam was great, too, though they gave me a hard time for not being around much over the past year, and Marden started feeling like he was thought of as a controlling husband. I told him that was ridiculous…my family knows any attempt at control will result in numerous body abrasions for the prospective controller. Nope…all home absences have been due to my controlling job, on which unfortunately I can’t inflict bodily harm.

Well, the week turned a bit sour when the day after the birthday festivities, when my OTHER Grandmother passed away. She had recently been admitted into the hospital and hadn’t been doing well at all, so in a way it was sort of a relief that she’s not suffering anymore. While its customary and expected to be sad at someone’s passing, it’s pretty uplifting believing that they’re in a better place, which I firmly do. At the risk of sounding callous, it wasn’t all negative – I got in some much-needed family time, Tye made it up from Shreveport, and I met some family from St. Louis that I had NO IDEA even existed, and hopefully some correspondence will continue and I’ll get to know them better.

In addition, a lady from church made us the BEST PIE EVER, which was a gooseberry/blueberry pie, called a BlueGoose. I’d never had a BlueGoose before, but I sure would like to have another. Anyone have a recipe?

Another great thing about being home was getting to watch a Chiefs game. Well…it should’ve been a good thing, but they lost. Again. My Chiefs are now 0-2, not counting all their pre-season losses. Matter of fact, I ditched the game to help mom grade papers. You know your team sucks when grading 7th and 8th grade papers is preferable to watching them play.

So today is my first day back at work. Since Marden had gone to the new house the night before, I had a long solitary reflective drive yesterday back to Lake Frierson in mom and dad’s old truck I borrowed so I could haul the trailer without blowing a second Explorer transmission. When you drive that long on your own in an old truck, your mind tends to wander and begins to contemplate the universe.

For example, you wonder things, such as - Why does every Barbara Mandrel song sound like a show tune?

Who in their right mind labels a tanker truck with the tagline “Lubrication Specialists”?

Just how many billboards does Yakov Smirnoff need? And really, hasn’t he been in the U.S. for like 50 years by now? When does one stop being a crazy Russian?

And speaking of crazy things, I missed one of my most favorite days of the year on the 19th - Talk Like A Pirate Day!

:( I guess there's always next year....arrrggg.

Ok, so it’s not quite officially fall yet on the calendar, but the weather is telling me otherwise. I spent three days barely taking a step outdoors so I could do battle with my first (and hopefully only) sinus infection of the season. Unfortunately duty called today and I had to make an appearance at the office while still battling evil Mr. SI (sinus infection).

So I stepped out on the porch this morning and was smacked right in the face by *gasp*….FALL! Where did this lovely weather come from?

It amazes me every year how we can go from blazing-hot fry-an-egg-on-your-car-can’t-breathe heat and humidity to cool crisp autumn-esq temps in a matter of a few blessed rain-filled days. I stepped out of the visitor center a minute ago and thought, “Wow…it’s QUIET!” …hearing only the quiet of crickets and a few stubborn katydids. No cicadas…a few of their bodies litter the parking lot. The birds started piping up about mid-morning, though not with their usual gusto. I assume they’re busy packing their bags for migration or have already started grouping up for the flight north.

I know, I’m waxing poetic here, but bear with me - fall is DEFINITELY my favorite time of year. Except spring. And snowy days. And summer days enjoyed at the lake.

I’m also very inconsistent.

Another awesome thing this time of year brings - FOOTBALL! Well, except this might be a long season for my Chiefs. They look terrible. The Texans handed them their first loss in what looks to be a tedious season. Ugh.

But this fall means the end of my last summer as a park ranger. I should feel sad, but I don’t. What started out as an incredibly fun and satisfying career has become an annoying, take-all-my-time-and-never-feel-appreciated job. I think I’m not the only one feeling this way. It’s making it much easier to vacate the premises...without a doubt time to move on.

Rain!

I can hardly believe my eyes, but we've had a RAINY week! I nearly forgot what droplets from the sky looked like, and now my plants are a slightly less severe shade of brown. I'm afraid there's no real hope for them, though. I'll just have to start all over next spring when we're FINALLY moved into the newly renovated Hooter Manor.

We're still remodeling...the floor is going down now, and will probably continue to do so over the next few weeks. My job is trim and interior doors. I never dreamed when we bought the place that we'd end up doing so much work to it. I'll be SO relieved when this project is complete...remodeling is extremely hard on both the psyche and the bank account. By now I'm sure Mr. Hooter thinks he married a crazy lady. I'm not so sure he'd be wrong.

Here's some very low-quality pics of our work in the master bedroom and living room...notice a lovely absence of white walls. I hate white walls...they make me feel as if I were in a hospital room or, more aptly, a psych ward. We went with trendy colors...colors that we'll no doubt enjoy now, but in 20 years wonder what in the world were we thinking. And no doubt colors our future kids will gag at. Oh well...I'm extremely happy with them now, and that's what counts.

In other news...Lucy continues to do well as a tripod. Matter of fact, she's doing so well that I really don't know why God bothered to give dogs 4 legs anyway. She's definately back to her old self. Last week she even took a headlong plunge into the pond across the road from the new place and did a few laps. I was wondering how she'd do swimming without a 4th leg. To my surprise, she does not swim in constant circles nor does she tip over. While I was pretty dusgusted at her choice of swimming holes, and she came back sporting the fragrance of cow manure, it was good to see her swim. We took care of her odor problem by engaging in another of her pre-injury activities - standing in front of the garden hose. I'm looking forward to having some time again to take her swimming at the lake. For that matter, I'm looking forward to taking MYSELF swimming at the lake!

Mullethunt Update!

Yes friends, it's time once again for...*drumroll*...a Mullethunt 2007 update!

2007 has continue to surpass our wildest hopes and dreams for a banner Mullet Year. As our hunter ranks swell, so do the numbers of excellent and unique captures. The summer months this year have yielded some fantastic catches. It is well known that mullets cause their owners much discomfort during the warmer months. It's been my hypothesis that while dealing with soaring temperatures and trying to stay cool, mullets are forced to spend less energy on staying concealed and must risk a venture out of their "safe zones" and risk facing more predators in order to stay hydrated and cool. In the most common mullet habitat, air conditioning is a rarity. This situation, while uncomfortable for the mullets, can result in a greater number of captures for dedicated hunters.

However, it is important to remind all hunters once again that mullets are an endangered species, and extra precaution should be taken when hunting in these sweltering temperatures when mullets are most vulnerable and at their most aggressive.

Mullet Hunter Justin caught this mullet out with his gal at a local truck stop. Truck Stop mullets are fairly common, this one sporting common summer plumage - white muscle shirt, tight black jeans, and pointed-toed cowboy boots. A very nice catch, Justin, of a classic mullet.

This "Courtroom Mullet" was caught by Travis. This constitutes a rare "double-catch", as this mullet was already in custody in the county court, having been apprehended once, mostly likely for the crime of "lookin' awesome." Travis shows his talent for covert mullet capturing by keeping his camera under wraps and coughing during the camera click. Nice work, Travis.

Next we showcase the excellent work of two new members of The Hunt, Daryl and Judith. Not only are their captures superb up-close specimins, but these are also INTERNATIONAL mullets, caught in Nova Scotia!

O Canada! This is a "Mullet Under Cover." While we don't actually SEE the mullet in all it's glory, we know through years of experience and stringent scientific analysis that it's definately there, under cover, most likely for the purpose of infiltrating the ranks of unsuspecting tourists. The camo "wife beater" and tan lines also aid in positive mullet identification. Nice catch!

Next we have another VERY impressive specimin - the "Mowhawk Mullet." This youth is proudly showing his independence by taking what would be a classic mullet and closely clipping the sides, such as a professional groomer would clip a show poodle. This extra grooming care not only keeps the mullet cooler in the summer with the added ventilation, but aids in achieving a healthy scalp tan to sustain the mullet for the long winter months ahead.

This is, perhaps, the best mullet thus far in our collection. Captured by yet another new mullet hunter, Trace. Trace shows he definately has the talent for world-class mullet hunting with this extaordinary specimin, captured at extreme close range. Trace obviously had to put himself in mortal danger to get close enough to this mullet, which has been dubbed by other mullet hunters as a "skullet." Skullets are by nature elusive, very volitile, and are definately the most aggressive of the mullet species, making their capture risky business indeed. Notice the redness in the facial area, perhaps indicating that Trace had soon vacate the immediate area or risk possible dismemberment. Also worth noting, this particular skullet is actually a sub-species, the extremely rare "Golden Skullet." Excellent piece of hunting, Trace...your moxie is to be admired.

Keep it up Mullethunters...2007 still has a long way to go! Stay safe, and happy hunting!

Big Bag 'O Socks

If you ever find yourself in need of a Bag 'O Socks, Walgreens is your store. I don't know HOW many times I've been sitting around wishing I had a new Bag 'O Socks. If you'll look closely, they also come in pink. What more could a person want?

I mean, besides a car with a good transmission???

Well, I have returned from what has to be the worst vacation. Ever. When did vacations go from being relaxing fun-filled getaways to stress-filled work-a-thons? When we bought a house, that's when! I figured in the nearly two weeks I had off we'd come close to completing at least part of Hooter Manor, but alas - no. Everything that could go wrong basically did, and that along with having to come back and work two days in the middle of my "vacation" because we don't have enough staff coupled with Marden's grandpa passing away - in plain English...it sucked.

My time off did have one bright moment - when we decided to go fishing for a day. I had a major struggle burying the guilt of spending a day at the river instead of working on the house, but luckily I got over it enough to go along. By the time I was standing waist-deep in the cold stream, attached my favorite summertime fly (black beetle size 16), and had hooked my first trout, all cares had melted away and I was, for the first time in MONTHS lost in the moment, totally relaxed. I've since determined that I need a solid week of trout fishing, thinking of nothing but what fly will work best and hearing nothing but water, birds, and wind in the leaves.

Fat chance that happens anytime soon! Our lives lately have been nothing but go, go, go...drive, drive, drive. Isn't it supposed to be fall soon???

Tough Summer

So sorry for my absence once again...this time it was due to taking some time off. Well, time "off" is a bit of an exhaggeration. I guess I was technically off official work, but I used my time doing unofficial work at our new abode. And what a vacation it was...

It started off with taking Lucy on an emergency vet visit, as her stump was looking kind of bad. They removed 6" of rubber drain tube that should've been removed the week before, but my braniac dog had bitten the end off and it disappeared, making the vets think she'd pulled it all the way out. Instead it was wedged way down in the wound, of course causing problems. And chalk another $70 bucks up for antibiotics, an added week for stitches and still having to wear the huge lampshade.

So one minor obstacle taken care of, then on to the new house! I had my explorer sport packed to the max, which included 1 3-legged lab who with her lampshade collar resembles a reciever for Dish Network, 1 beagle, 2 cats, and 2 ducks, pulling a trailer loaded with furniture. Temp is officially 103 degrees with a cloudless sky and baking sun, but we're relatively comfy in the A/C.

That is, until nearly Hardy, where my transmission blew.

We're pulled off the side of the road, engine compartment smoking, animals all panting in the scorching heat. Long story short - 2 hours later we limped into the driveway of Casa de Hooter in a very testy mood, but grateful to be off the road. Found out a couple days later that I have to have a whole new transmission. There goes a paycheck, plus some...

Met mom and dad at the new place and spent our days mostly painting...we went a little nuts with color, but I LIKE. The place is actually starting to look like a home, and with the new wood floor and furniture it should be warm and friendly. We actually got to the point to buy new ceiling fans, as the old ones were HIDEOUS and must've come from some goth cathedral. Or something. So we got nice new ones which looked perfect in Lowe's, only to get them home and installed to find out that they only take those tiny little bulbs. ??? Called Lowe's, where they tell us that all ceiling fans will soon only have fixtures that take the little bulbs (despite the fact that nearly ALL their floor models have regular bulbs - including the fans I picked out - which is why I never bothered to look at the box). What's the POINT? Why get ceiling fans with lights if they don't put out much light??? So after a minor meltdown over that, we decided we liked the fans, so screw it. Turns out they actually put out some signficant light, and we'll have lamps anyway. So beware - if you're looking for new ceiling fans, look at the box to be sure you're getting what you THINK you are.

Anyway, we did make some headway. If we can get some flooring in and get the well figured out, and if it EVER cools off again and maybe we get some rain, my stress level should go down a few notches. But there's still a lot of summer left...

Dog Days

Whew...I think I detest August more every year. We ushered in August with incredibly hot temps, hazy skies, and still no rain. My flowers, despite watering, have been fried to a golden crisp...and they looked so GOOD a month ago!

I'm officially 5 days from vacation! I'm so excited, even if I'm doing nothing but working on the new house, at least it won't be spent at the park, which as of late has felt like my arch-nemesis. You know it's time for a vacation when you stall in order to get to the office at the last possible second before getting in the car to go to work....then when you get there, pause dramatically to give a scathing scowl to the building before going in. Throughout the day, said scowl grows in intensity as it's aimed at paperwork, the computer, and any other unsavory piece of equipment or task. If I were a superhero, deadly laser beams would be issuing from my eyeballs, destroying everything in their path without prejudice.

Luckily people are not subjected to this horrid visage...we have essentially no visitors during this time, mostly because sitting out in a fishing boat under the scorching sun will result in fishermen being reduced to pathetic puddles of goo. In other words - nobody wants to frolic in a park while it's this dang hot. So, the few visitors we do get are heartily welcomed as a way to break up the monotony of the day. The UPS man has taken to shoving packages in the door and running away just to avoid having to have a 20 minute conversation with speak-starved visitor center workers - all two of us. Actually, one of us for this month, as Amy is currently on vacation, and upon her return I will make a hasty vamoose.

It is possible I may be suffering from a work-related malady called "burnout"....but it's just a theory.

In other Hooter news, Lucy is home! She had a successful amputation, and despite the tremendous pain I imagine she's been in, she's now a happy dog once more. The difference is amazing! With her bum leg, Lucy wasn't able to negotiate stairs...now she's zipping up and down them faster than ever. Also running, playing, jumping...which she's NOT supposed to be doing during her recovery, so I have to keep her confined, but it's just so great having the old Lucy back. I will, however, be very glad when she's healed and done with the giant lampshade collar...she's much like the proverbial bull in a china closet.

Mullet Update

For those of you eagerly awaiting news on Mullethunt '07, we've got an update. For the first time in my mullet-hunting experience, a fellow hunter has made an extraordinary find beyond the borders of the U.S.

Aussie Clare sent me this photo, which she explained she did not take herself. However, I'm giving her credit because she had the keen eye to spot it:

Usually we take great strides to protect the identies of mullets after they are tagged and set free. However, this mullet is in the public eye, and therefore used to the close scrutiny and not likely to turn violent.

This handsome fellow is Warrick Capper, former player for Aussie football team the Sydney Swans. (Swans?)

I am informed that Mr. Capper is now going into politics, I'm guessing in the hope that those golden locks (evidently provided by several boxes of Clairol) will contribute greatly to his political platform. I do hope his bangs do not impede his political progress. Go Warrick!

Next, we have the Italia Mullet, called so because it was spotted in a nice local Italian restaurant. This was definately a team effort, as it took no less than 6 mullet-hunters to capture. In truth, only two of us were successful, as this mullet proved to be wild and a bit crazed, which we attributed to finding itself so far from it's natural habitat.
Justin first captured this blurry shot using his zoom. Notice the full curls protruding from the cover. This mullet appears to be attempting to blend in, as it's not under a typical camo cover. However, the muscle shirt, unfortunately, negated any blending in attempts. However, while it stuck out like a sore thumb, this mullet turned out to be a hard capture.

Travis made this second capture, slightly clearer, but again from the back. This was turning out to be the hardest hunt in recent mullet-hunt history. It was clear that this mullet just didn't want to be caught, and we'd decided to cut our losses before someone got hurt.

However, upon exiting the restaurant, we were all 6 faced with the unthinkable - the mullet, there in all his glory - and Justin was the only one to have the presence of mind to caputure this, the Holy Grail of mullet-hunting - a full-body frontal.

Potter Pandalerium

I sit here today bleary-eyed and chugging coffee, suffering the effects of a very late night - all because of a single silly book. :)

I've been a Harry Potter fan since the 3rd book was out, when I finally started reading the series at the request of Mom, who asked that I read the first book and tell her if it was appropriate for her classroom. I was hooked from page #1. However, I've been content to be a patient fan of the series, usually buying my books days or even weeks after the release when the craziness is over.

However, this time I decided to join the fray. It's the last book, it's a huge part of pop culture, and darned if I'm going to wait to read it and let the ending get out!

Mr. Hooter bought me a Books-A-Million voucher months ago, and we decided to go join the ranks of the nutty and redeem it at midnight. It was "pure pandalerium!" as Jeff Foxworthy (or Marden) would say. People dressed in costume (some very clever), people having trivia contests, and mostly just people - young, old, and everywhere in between - just giddy with excitement.



And here it is...the fruit of our labor, all crisp and ready to be cracked open. If it were only not 2 a.m....

And The Summer Drags On...

So we're deep into summer now...hot, hot, hot...humid, humid...did I say humid? I feel at this point like December 1st - my departure date - will never arrive, and I'll be stuck in limbo between two locations forever, and forever too tired to do anything but go through the motions.

*sigh*

So I don't think that I reported that Matilda is now dubbed "Otis", since he is indeed a male. Unfortunately, Mr. Hooter did not utter those , "You were right..." words I was so longing to hear...intead he muttered something like, "Hm! Well isn't that interesting." Not only did we find that he is a male, but apparently nearly ALL orange cats are male, just like nearly all calico cats are female.

And Lucy's ordeal continues...the vet has now decided that her leg should just be amputated and she'll be a tripod. I think it's definately for the best, I just hate that it's coming at the worst possible time ever...what with remodeling a house 2+ hours away, having a gimp husband in a leg boot, and working way too many hours...now add nursing a dog? ARG!!!

Happy Blueberry Muffin Day

I've been informed today is Blueberry Muffin Day. So, Happy Blueberry Muffin Day. Sure would have been nice to celebrate Blueberry Muffin Day by having a blueberry muffin, but alas, the Hooter Household is grocery deficient. Best I could do was a tortilla with peanut butter, and I'm pretty sure there's not a Peanut Butter Tortilla Day.

Mullethunt '07 - Recent Captures

Mullethunt '07 continues to be a banner year for mullethunting, and also continues to yield impressive trophies. We believe proper management of these rare specimins has led directly to excellent mullet numbers, and there are rumors of consideration for removing mullets from the endangered species list along with the bald eagle.

Travis, Mullet-hunter of far and wide repute, captured this wily specimin with some quick-thinking action. This "camo-mullet" actually came to him of it's own accord. While it's fairly rare to catch a covered mullet, the camo cover is the most common-used method of protecting the "business end."

This is Kendra's first catch, and a fine catch it is! This is an EXTREMELY rare species, actually thought to have gone extinct in the early 1990's. However, Kendra proves at least one still exhists. Notice the extremely well-groomed appearance, and the care taken to tame this mullet into a perfect point. Even the gentleman to the side can't help but stare at it's utter perfection. With catches like this, Kendra will soon ascend to the pinnacle of mullet-hunting.

This is a recent catch of mine, caught at a local swim beach. Notice this mullet owner's reluctance to join the others in the water, and how can you blame him? Perfectly spiked on top, flowing waves in the back - he proudly dispays his mullet for all to enjoy.

July 4th Blues

Yep, here I go again, whining because once again I'm thwarted from enjoying a once much-anticipated holiday. I'll try not to whine too much. :) I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, as I was dividing my time between two parks being constantly at the beck and call of the lovely public - a public which has gotten increasingly hard to please with the increasing temperatures of summer.

I have 5 whole months left with my current job before I take off and follow Mr. Hooter west. I suppose there are many things I'm going to miss about being a park ranger that don't come to mind immediately, but I can think of a myriad of things I WON'T miss, and I do look forward to the days when I'll be a "normal" person again, enjoying holidays, weekends, and evenings with wild abandon.


I guess one thing I'm really going to miss are the critters. Every spring I end up with at least one baby animal to raise, and this year has been no different. Several coons, one skunk (see pic - this is "Perrywinkle" the skunk...this pic was taken post-spray-Ash-in-the-face-in-her-office), and a one-eyed wood duckling named Dewey. Not that I'll have any want for critters at the new Hooter Household - as of now we have 20 whole acres to fill. :)

Blog Entry Retraction

I have been informed that I was mistaken in my previous entry concerning our ski trip, and must print a retraction. Mom and Dad did indeed make it out of the bunny slope area, and I was emphatically informed that Mom went to the top of the mountain with Tye and skiied all the way down successfully.

My sincerest apologies.

Friggin' Summer

Ah, summer is here. Don't you just love summer? If you answered "yes", then you don't live in Arkansas, AND you've been listening to too many Country Time Lemonade and Bluebell Ice Cream commercials. It's FRIGGIN' HOT. It's FRIGGIN' HUMID. And yes, I've been told that Texas has big mosquitoes, and Minnesota has lots, but put those together for Eastern Arkansas...imagine mosquitoes the size of pomeranians coming at you over the horizon, fresh from a flooded rice field, in a menacing black cloud the size of a nuclear blast. And ticks...if you even THINK of entering a wooded area, every nightly shower becomes a rousing game of "tick hunt", ending in a restless night of "tick-bite scratch", not to be confused with the ever popular and never escapable "chigger-bite boogie." Ticks and chiggers I grew up with, but the mosquito hordes are a new adventure, and after several years I still haven't gotten used to the plague. Summer isn't all bad...we do get to wear shorts. Well, I choose not to because of all the ugly bug bites. My legs haven't seen much in the way of the sun in the past few years.

So yeah...I don't enjoy summers like I used to...as probably most people who work in the warm-weather driven tourist industry.

If you're like me, you're mind is back in the cool weather of fall and possibly winter. To help bring back these memories of cooler days, here's some pics from our ski trip this past winter in the cold crisp air of the Colorado Rockies:

Ok, so this isn't Colorado...this is a sign somewhere in Kansas. We saw these signs for miles and miles, and finally got within ONE MILE of the Largest Prairie Dog In the World! Imagine our excitement! We stopped, however, and were totally bummed to find the place apparently out of business. I mean, who goes out of business when you own the world's largest prairie dog???

This was Marden’s first ski trip….both figuratively and literally. He did a LOT of tripping, as well as sliding, tumbling, crashing, and just flat wiping out. For his first time he did pretty good, but learning to ski just isn’t a pretty process, no matter how coordinated you are. I found that skiing came back to me just like riding a bike, and we finally broke up into pairs according to ability...Mom and Dad on the bunny slopes, Marden and Tye on the greens, while Trent and I (as the more adventurous family members) hit the blues and blacks of both Winter Park and Mary Jane.

After a few fun days of skiing, Trent and I decided to trade our skis in for snowboards. I’ll say this – snowboarding is a blast, but learning is even an uglier process than learning to ski. See pic. It was after this not-so-soft wipeout (which my loving hubby snapped while laughing very unsympathetically) that I decided a helmet might be prudent.

First of all, snowboarding leaves you with a feeling of being completely out of control. With skis, you have two independently working legs and can (with practice) retain some semblance of control. With a snowboard, your feet are strapped to the same board, and there is no “falling”…it’s more of a “brutal slamming of your face into the hard-packed snow which feels like concrete.” Then you finally get the “feel” of the board and can begin to weave back and forth gracefully, just like on TV. But this is just the snowboard deviously lulling you into a false sense of security, so you start building up speed and confidence when all of a sudden, “WHAM!!!”, you’re eating snow yet again, but this time after a spectacular head-over-feet-arms-flailing-snow-spraying exploit which everyone within a half mile radius has just witnessed. And you can see on their faces (once you pry your face out of the hard pack) that they don’t know whether to laugh, come offer assistance, or get the ski patrol…so mostly they ignore you or choose the not-so-disguised laugh option. The worst place to do this is the last stretch of the run, which meets with other runs and widens out into a huge open area in full view of the lodge/restaurant – in full view of the literally hundreds of people lounging around, taking a break.

Another hazard is deep snow. We were lucky enough to be on our trip during the big “Blizzard of 2006” which hit Denver, and dumped 24” of much-needed snow on the ski resorts. Of course for skiing snow is great, as long as you stay on the groomed runs. Get off the runs, and you find yourself flailing about like a beached whale (sometimes in an inverted position), losing poles and skis in the whole process, and making sounds which are reminiscent of the mating call of an overweight bear. I’m not sure what’s worse – hitting deep snow with skis or a snowboard. Both are equally bad situations which one should avoid at all costs.

Despite the embarrassments, it was one of the best times of my life. I’ve come to understand something about myself. I’m an Adrenaline Junkie. I can’t wait to go again, and Mr. Hooter – despite his many bumps, bruises, and sore bones – feels equally excited about more skiing in our future, as does the rest of the fam.

So here's some pics from the trip. Enjoy the imaginary blast of cold air.

Dad and Mom...on the bunnies.

Dang I wish I was in Colorado...!